Red Thread of Fate

Fellow friend, let me tell you a story about fate. Today is the Chinese New Year. I had waited for this day so impatiently, thinking it would be bubbling with potential, imagining it would redeem me from all the failures and mistakes I made since January 1^st, it would amend all of my wrongdoings and set me back on my path, on a timeline of self-love and wisdom.

About a month ago, I dreamt that I was in a Chinese store, where the shop woman was selling me a bracelet, made of a red string and adorned with seashells. She was explaining that I must wish upon this bracelet and renew my oath and commitment towards my wish every 30 minutes. Funnily enough, on the same day, two different people told me about rituals involving chanting or repetition of mantras every 30 minutes.

And while I was never one to relate to Chinese customs and traditions, this dream spoke to me. I started researching about wish bracelets, red string bracelets and the many traditions in which this simple red thread, wrapped and tied around one’s wrist, can symbolise love, union with a life partner, a lucky charm, a reminder of commitment, a protection talisman, or a wish-fulfilling token.

According to the omniscient Google, in the Chinese tradition, the Red Thread of Fate (also known as the Red Thread of Marriage) symbolises the invisible ties that bring together those who are destined to meet one another, for they are soulmates. In Kabbalah, a red string, worn on the left wrist (thought to be the receiving side of the spiritual body) is used to ward off the evil eye and protect the wearer of any misfortune.

I decided to get myself a red string, which I was planning on wearing on New Moon’s day, on the day of the Chinese New Year, in order to connect with my deepest, truest desires. Said and done, I ordered a package that, inevitably, came with two bracelets, as intended for any couple willing to tie the knot (of a bracelet, and of a lifetime). I thought I would wear one, and my sister could use the other. That, fellow friend, is when the Universe decided to come out and play.  

A couple of days ago, the eve of the New Moon, my sister told me that her boyfriend wanted a red thread bracelet as well, and asked me where she could get one. I directed her to the Chinese store nearby, where the sweet man behind the counter, his joyful and playful eyes and immaculate white hair and goatee informed her that such a red thread was not to be bought, but should rather be received as a gift.

Meanwhile, the energy of renewal was growing on me, ever stronger. I was determined to clear out all my weaknesses, all my addictions, all my compulsive behaviours (most specifically, binge eating), all of my self-sabotaging beliefs and attitudes, all that was keeping me small, all that was impeding my evolution on my Path.

I decided that I was going to welcome this breath of fresh air in a state of complete purity and cleanliness, and I started dusting my place (which was long overdue). As I got to the bookshelf and started moving things around, a red thread that I had used as a bookmark, fell from between the pages of a book. A Chinese bracelet, which I received as a complementary gift for a purchase I made, months ago, and which I had completely forgotten about.

That was the Universe’s way of setting everything into place. A perfectly orchestrated response to everyone’s wishes. My sister and her boyfriend were getting red string bracelets as a gift from me, to use as witness of their connection. I was getting a single red thread, as a gift all the way from China, to mark my oath to my wishes. Then, fear arose. What should I wish for, what should I commit myself to? To paraphrase a well-known song, “I asked the Universe, what will I be? “Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?” Here’s what she said to me: Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see”.

Well, in truth, the Universe did not respond in that many words. She simply made my red thread vanish, nowhere to be found, despite my desperate search, despite my turning the whole house upside down all throughout the day. Until about half an hour ago, after I had started writing these ramblings and my sister revealed it, right under my eyes, on my bed, with a simple flick of my duvet.

Now, fellow friend, let me tell you while I started writing in the first place. I began this year under Deepak Chopra’s tender guidance, drafting my vision for 2021, creating a vision board containing the spirit of how I wanted this year to look like, and redoing the 21-day Abundance Challenge, in the company of a beautiful man, who has been my travel companion for the past 2 months or so.

Slowly but steadily, I started visualising my toned body, my daily mindfulness and self-love practices, my future beautiful flat, with big, wide-open windows and flowy white curtains, filled with candles and incense, comfortable cushions, somebody to love (me), a cat, happy and loud friends over dinner and game nights, and my Prana patients and Tarot clients.

I equally re-connected with a beautiful soul and a creator of magic at Magic Roots, who selflessly offered to guide and support me in identifying my goals and building towards my spiritual business, a holistic place of love and non-judgement, combining coaching, tarot, Prana healing. She shared valuable teachings and insights, the most recent of which, last night, was about the feminine and masculine energies.

Technically, she reminded me that we are both the receiver and the provider, and that our inner masculine energy provides constantly. Therefore, whenever we are in scarcity, lack or poverty mentality, the imbalance is on the receiving, feminine side. All the more reasons to wear a red thread bracelet on my left wrist, on my receiving, feminine side.

Bombarded by all the information, I started doubting, wondering and going through a whirlwind of thoughts and fears, as to what best wish to wish upon my bracelet would be. Should I wish for an apartment? Should I wish for a prosperous spiritual business? Should I wish for a committed relationship? Should I simply wish for the harmonious and unhindered manifestation of my inner Empress, of my Divine Feminine?

As I continued being confused, I also continued becoming increasingly frustrated with the disappearance of my red bracelet. I consequently overate, which is what I have done very often lately, every time I felt scared, abandoned, dissatisfied, fearsome, insecure and alone in the face of big decisions and transformations. And that has happened more than I care do admit.

I was however saved by Netflix and a little film I watched this evening, called “Love beats rhymes”, a love story peppered with hip-hop and slam poetry, which I absolutely loved. The leitmotif of this movie were the following phrases:

“As you learn to love yourself better, teach me.

As you learn to forgive yourself for failing, teach me.

As you learn to accept strength and vulnerability, teach me”.

I stopped for a moment and decided to teach myself love and forgiveness, to accept my wrongdoings and my failures as part of a learning process, to accept my fears as a trampoline helping me break free of the shackles of my own self-imposed or self-accepted limitations. And to commit my bracelet to my one true goal: raw, honest, in-your-face, straightforward and can’t-live-without (self)love.

On this day of pure potentiality, I hereby commit myself to Oneness, I commit myself to seeing myself in all there is, I commit to seeing the Divine light in me, I commit to seeing my connection with Nature’s abundance, I commit to pursuing my mission, I commit to living plentifully.

And I commit myself to you. I commit to seeing myself within you, I commit to loving you, purely, honestly, calmly, freely, unconditionally. And I vow be here for you, fellow friend, just as I vow to be here for myself. I vow to pick myself up and continue every time I fall, to encourage and support myself whenever I am lost or afraid, to comfort myself whenever I am hurt, to forgive myself whenever I fail, and to perpetually shower myself with infinite forgiveness, abundance, harmony, healing and love.

Love,

Vladiana